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  • We don't
    make missteaks
    We only have little broccoli.

    • Website App.

    Below is a the full remarks list from my homepage.
    This shoutlist may contain painfull words

    Right now I talk a little about MindYou; a new coming website.
    Our world of make-believe, disposal, waste and the discourse of psychological control.
    About keystones of suppression and influence on the public. About: Compliance! by your orders and 'Cylons'. But mainly about its deeper trouble; all the way from bad labor to 'political' coercion on a personal level. Careful: this can be rough information!
    This note/comment page will be used for personal reference.

    Thanks for reading and Enjoy your day!

    I am Rocksushi 素敵な目


      "There must be brighter sides to life
      and I should know because I've seen them,
      but not very often.."



        ›› ABC - foundation   ↶
    The MINDZOO website
    -about (political suppression
    › Practical -civil rights guide & help
    › Ethics:library of translated articles
    › Support trace & back up
    ›Rollie, a think tank
    › Vocabulairy


    The abc is also:
    › Kicking the bud of corrupted data, misunderstanding & analysis -
    › Mind You!
    › Informative for the general public

    We greet a Consious generation
    About psychological suppression on pers./public level
    frustrating,    messin up your (fam) life
    knowledge, internet & censorship
    ethnicity of moral values. moral, ethics, norm and habituation
    arranged trouble & shah sum networks

    People can be illegal
    But not illegally a human being.
    This is not the official®
    Mindzoo website.
    -have a heart-
      ||||| | |||| ||||| || |||
      ∃
      Roxksushi wallpaper




      My shoutlist from the homepage.
      "You have to listen!", I heard anonymous people muttering to me inside a bookshop recently.To what? Frankly, in our context, you don't want to listen, you want to think. You don't want to listen at home for what to do to: ghosts, coincidences, devils, sounds from the outside etc; you usually would want to think for yourself!
      Also you want to believe what is right not what you want to believe is right. Naivity and blindness are tools the moment you came to understand the world sucks.
      Here are some examples I promised in my: little home terror example list. Buss is how I call the upsetting 'break' remarks that I can hear all day like gestapo talking into you. They can also come with buzz (emulating of inner thought, manipulating mind & choises). More about buzz in another paragraph. In between parentheses are my own comments or additional text. It's on top of page cause of personal relevancy.
       Anyway, here is my 'shout-list'. Named as such because of their impact, nót about the volume of the just hearable (you can't make conscious listening choise, let alone with buzz) remarks aimed at me 24 h/d that I must endure while at a place named my home.. like:

      "you'll find him dead", "Money has been offered to cross your plans", "your (old friend's name) was drunk behind the wheel..", you're a prisoner of the community" , "Austrian woman gave orders", "you must shut up about the queen that's why we're here.."(?!), "gonna pretend it's -just- stalking", "we are paid to be angry." ..Little secrets of me pop up, the word 'radio' is mentioned as well as systematically 'buzzing'. It's almost unbelievable.
      [ In exacerbated conditions of suppression and mind control ,victims are in many ways occupied(distracted), hindered and made afraid to question and think clear about: their life and situation, what to do, where to find help en how to get justice if any.. as victims are met with disbelief -by those who once by their vocation promised to help people , while cults even use their own tv-stations..]
      You'll get K(cancer)", "he has been given ALS" (painful cause I was a good runner as a kid),"your brother doesnt coe from your brother( but you all sure out of your daddies dick)", +/- 22:30 "that 'guy' sitting next to you is also beginning to understand that he was killed." (this kind of shit hits so hard.. It's time for a special unit because here.. these home and head invaders, terrorists get cake and subsidy),
      "They also deadened his sister in front of the camera" (christ.. pro's, nutheads, groupfanatics or culties. Can appear as jerks or normal people/families. Placed frustrators or professional psychological behavior mtc's aka trainers/controllers: they can be close or far away wolves in sheepclothing and [give room to] buss or buzz aka voicing). What do fukkin informer scenes all do and know about people? And then all the 'too late, too old and almost dead' threat 'calls' by surrounding 'nazi heels', wheel and will clamps, insidious snitches brainwashin' you dejected, nervous, choking life and happiness. Azotomia of my heart. The obstruction theory applied here means you are: worried happy feeling and worried every beginning: not as in going ahead, but back up to where you started, as in set-back, as in no rest and depressed and you don't even wánt to start something..
      Wether frustrating Singletons on some senior leaders' orders or PRO manipulators in an organised assignment; the whole Fu%*&ing stack is corrupt an criminal. How do you think the continuous sickening, mood-breaking commentary (buss) feels like? Every day and night. Nazi heels kicking, twisting, chopping your soul, nerves and heart. They destroy you, your positive believes, your identity and the idea of being the orchestrator of, and living a normal undisturbed life. For some of my family goes that 'for a lifetime has a life been deliberately deformed from the outside!' Thís is the war. It's with 'the Beast'..),

      "to make working for him impossible"( Language.. imagine you get intimidated, with the idea of a friend thinking you're pursuing this person. Part of this person's name is clearly recognizable as part of conjugations in our everyday language. How can you write anything without fear of giving out wrong signals..? Deep muting impact dilemma but does the mayor know this is happening to people?), "by whom is his life made impossible? by a queen!", "refuses to get insecure", "He basically hears throughout the day that he should not jog", "he also regularly withdraws from the program", "don't make it so hard for 'karate's' sister", "we may not let him think of nice ladies", "'they' must think it is a brain inflammation", "(..) girlfriend has gotten big legs", "kind van de rekening"(vaker), "you may soon again write off more years of your life", "because pretty much all medical remarks have been removed.."(I want to collapse. Again I'm very afraid for my work!!), "just unlucky"(jebbus christ what a remark), "It's all stephan and that long one behind him", "the burn-out of 70 people sits here", "you gonna get hit" (the buzz/voicing by frustrators/manipulators can prepare victims full of fearful expectation for aggresive conflict, plays chess with people. Worse is that they threatened to make themselves known and present to people I love which can raise many questions and cause dismay and existential panic about their lives), "already is a whole life long afraid to be hit in the face"( yea, misplaced hunches, x-tra nervousness and unrest as you gou out. Now I know it was buzz. Before you know it you prefer to stay home),   "because he will also be radio controllable", "will fall into a bloodcurdling reality",

      "Marathon Man" (as I ran down the stairs of the market square. But I want to say this: that one can behave (privately) for years as a 'mental', a child, imbecil - dead while alive. Through a depicting, narrowed mindset filled with uncertainty due to intense and relentless programming with deception, manipulation, confusion, fear conditioning and broken self-esteem simply due to bad treatment by other people. Fooled by 'modder and fladder'. I am not a youtube teen. This page is very serious.),"from his 7th on", "you may know that it was the intention you would end up in a wheelchair"( Much weird bullshit happening around my fam like forever. Sometimes I say to myself that my brother and mother should be protected. When I jog my little piece before 6am and double shadow creeps up from behind or there's a sudden cracK or rustling sound, I am sometimes kinda startled for a moment.),"because hardly anyone knows how forced things were (are)", "because he says 'Lock on heed?' ", "is actually constantly at gunpoint"(The ongoing talkin(in) to by surounding 'camp-guards', -who infact make of you and all knowledge and information stolen from your privacy a group confession,
      who frontaly attack your meaning in all You are and Do while you are at home.. continuesly and year after year-, is dead-tiring(understatement)! but just as disgusting is how organised intentional psychological deception and decievement, with anyone possible through stupid ideas that only bad nazis think of tried to hurt and damage my parents -they were children with children- by their gullibility. It's terror, it's war crime and Hów could all this have been made possible, ever!), "they have made a public diorama of him", "thinks he's still 16 but will be 60 by then",
       I worry about victims waking up and realizing the betrayal of the, perhaps years of mental kidnap and takeover. A humiliating control by intense covert and overt manipulations and coercive influence on our minds and lives. That there are 'people' out there who know what happens to victims from childhood on is unforgivable. A deranged lifelong 'royal' embrace. A lifetime! Every remark will be on the new website every bit of this brutality.  
      "Your whole life is pre-processed.."  (yes I fear the worst; the seriousness of the manipulations -on this page often covert- to the head, the 'close-up', the general corruption machinery, advance of the wrong waltz)

        It's at the end of a winters night. The temporarily appartment where I live, has a big parking lot downstairs, a space where one can hide, the houses are noisy. 06:15. A voice. It runs empty as in a séance, a whole bunch of shitty remarks: "There's been treason for life on that guy", "tsar television" , "should have received legal aid and knowledge only in the year of death" (that's HEAD VI), "Tonight it almost goes wrong"  (Headache I'm surrounded by premeditated asholes that call off, fake and sabotage our lives. A crazy movie and I still say it's very quiet around here..)   Some more hints fly by: "is on the list to..", "you're going to be held at gunpoint tonight too" (reminds me to something outside : "yes, we're at the 'office' now"), "terminal, has been given up."
       Time for coffee Jeebus Christ.. party over. I feel sick. Somehow I am reminded of that Stasi bad-good cop Hoover the secretive gay who was the absolute boss of the Feds for half a century. Infiltration at highest national level, a top key right between his own wichhunt papers for compromising information of which an entire (personal) administration was kept, even about members of parliament and the police service itself.

      "We traumatized your kingdom", "(myname) gets irradiated", "continuously talked out of your life", "He is also going to have problems with his intestines- just about everything is beamed to pieces in there","hang! stuck!"(when you hear your tormentors you feel a peeped upon and kick-around object, a controlled humiliated THING), "that's why his body also got code red" (my blood loss and other complaints. words I would never use), "this one here killed (name of person about whom I already expressed some concern)", "ze noemen hem het opwachtstation", "can squeese out his eye", Go!Go! (attempts to make you leave a discussion/conflict unsatisfied and with tail between legs), while I felt an itchy track on my face at night: "they are making sunken corners of the eyes", "finally he gets a 'backlash' from all the years",
      bullshit remarks hit me while finishing a good sentence and I was thinking: 'here they go again.. pretending to have decided the foregoing, trying to lay a train track switch.. ánd frustrate your heart out" A few days earlier I caught like "only half of what you write is good" (in terms of taken over I pressume or what?) No need to say more, "your grandmother was -once- told too"? (worrying and bizar. In all honesty and sincerity I say this: on top of vile -spiritual- decievement break and hurt for years for my family, smear campaign baiting and a multi-organized 'royal' ban alike setup to harpoon our minds and destroy livability I wonder: do authorities and does government look away? does she know a thing? If not, then where is our government?), "Polio is taking pictures again", "living with a borrowed head", "we get money to take you out" (it's a bad movie, I hardly dare to ask myself to what extend the manipulations- influence and 'plotting' took place, have impacted our lives, intruded my privacy and that of my fam and partners; a nightmare. I am really concerned. Things are treacherous and artificial, ..living in a bothered ánd shunned situation, it's hard to move and feel freely. Like bad minders and informers are all around. In circumstances like these people are played, emotionally crippled; they must learn to walk again! Too many blechtrommels. And all shit still goes on.
      But.. nuh worry Dread betta dayz a come. You can take a problem put it on top another and get out of the pit. All you need is commitment and guts. Just like the stars that ride the nightly skies and the indian who climbs the well's steep sides. True) ,

      "your aorta is about to break"(apart from this bangs on the walls as incentives to close the door based on my known 'clock habits' and bangs on the wall to wake me when I doze off or fall asleep.. Stasi 2022. One on one.), "was found with her legs tied", "you may you also know that we are death squads", "less failed attack next time", "trying to fake his gestures" (..It's not just the close monitoring, the sneaky games with -unconscious- associations, self-conditioning and feeding [angry at broken appliances with your initials as you come to think of it] and a behavioral control that normally results in isolation and self-suppression. Shut out a social integrated life or worse, shut out reality. Understand that the intense psychological zersetzung that I and my family are experiencing, psychologically-linguistically taps into already naturally occurring childhood fears, fundamental and newly embedded. Making our existence a continuous comprehensive nerve treatment. The prison and the bullshit goes on for the people I love and the sensitization tries to make people so small and naked that: they already purr at a little heat, already shrink at a little cold.. Hey dat is 't lulletje van de leeuw! I wonder how great the betrayal is and the sheer ciminality of it all..!), "We'll keep going until you're 77 yrs of age" (in diffrent versions - this means that commissioning parties and perpetrators are with premediation lifelong busy, purposefully trying to get people out, wrecking them. These remarks also go to "you've been calculated" which I heard in my youth days already, again upsetting moments) , "braintumor", "your pet will be dead in 30 hrs", creepy stuff like "living along with you" (?! meaning real piggybacking, mirroring while screwing up the other one's life? Jeebuz Christ, let me repeat that morons 'round my fam should've been read their rights long ago! ), "there will be nothing left of your skin", "only early happiness may be destroyed", "he is bald under his cap", "that person from Brussels also calls your life a dirty case", "will have had lifelong guidance.." ( if I make it to live to 70 they've tried to kill me for 70 years. I feel terrible. Like in a house without walls and on the wrong half of the war. What by clients and their 'agents', was committed to over the years? Covert manipulators lifelong mentally beating up my family than remotely 'playing scrabble' with these unwitting strangled characters?),

      They will spoil your life abroad as well.. (Systematic re/de/pression, destructive Mind Control and Manipulation. Withdrawal and detachment by (thought) disruption and deceit, intrusion of privacy and the incredible restrictions it brings on your behavior, intimidation, inhibitions and 'incapabality indoctrination' of the ALWAYS present non-stop breaking, shocking talking (bad info flood = good thoughts flush) aimed at me and family. Directed mental terror from the beginning as it continues. And we must 'shut up' about it..? forget it. Thank you Dutch state: how you've let a family go to smithereens is unheard of. People in a controlled life, crumpled up like a wad of paper. There you have your lifelong directe manipulation and oppression.
      Our intimidation: inside/outside threats, spying, emotional restriction. A holdup. Arrested development in thinking being doing in movement really. Consciously and unconsciously immersed in anti-signals. agoraphobic always uncomfort. Everthing u say can n will be used against you in an un-official court of law ..lights off. For life- how do you think that feels..?
      Our situation is mapped, environment settled, life taken over in an ongoing attempt to makeit a 'jammer maar, helaas' story and to hide us away. Agora trui met kop phobos thee. Frozenminds. Will this continue abroad?
      I want to know precisely from what moment on my government knew about -let alone initiated- the cognitive arrest of my family! Gotta lot to do. And I will!
      I dreamt I was cleaning up and while waking up from it I heard above me joyfully say : "he's cleaning up". (I am worried. The illegal zersetzung is overlayed from mind- into dreampolice 24hrs literally while the country is aiding the enemy and being absent without leave for over one damned century for my family. There will be nothing left of áll the undignifying criminal bastards and their horrible practices but the word cheaters and rotten people; to hell they go, but with a name, nót anonymous like their victims.. Who know the word happy only as a sigh of relief. Pak ze op hun heilige klootzak wo(o)rden),

      "we get it just from a piece of paper", "wijf uit die porcelijn winkel betaalt ons allemaal" (?!), "they have been beamed through from close by", "all their lives", "they have been misinformed" (about my fam), "holding that other woman in 'the room' since she was 5 yrs old", "he's about to" (often used implicates doing too much 'liberation'. It gives a discusting feel of being monitored) and ditto 'threats'(extra mental load and task) when I talk or start doing something difficult, highly informational and significant'(information restriction, distortion of thinking and drilling!),  "blowing toxic smoke", "Groen Links" (A moment later I got the joke but then I recognized this (sometimes proverbial) short language. It uses -sub-modalities. This way you can very quickly 'communicate' and command -'whisper'- unwitting people), "they also waisted his first woman" (how crazy do you want it? )
      I can not normally live and work here!

      It's 5:10 AM and intimidating threats are out which means to oppose and to blame a victim..
      "they've let that bitch think she wants to harm her children"(who?), "because he kicks his owners too hard", "a cyst develops in your throat", "we will continue until..", "not to let him go to Japan alone", "your hijackers will knock you down"(It's unbelievable to realize that you're the object in an ensemble that wants to destroy your reason, pin you alive. If my grandparents had had an ounce of awareness and resisted, they would've had the same shadow and chimera play waiting for them trying to drive them back into their shell) , 'many kinds of radio around you'(?! ..as far as im concerned these practices are completely immoral, illegal and unhealthy; if this is true then this is criminally corrupt and totally uacceptable!! )

      "you get bullets from behind", I smell something unpleasant and hear:"you may know that it's mental torture." ..I wonder how much radio is around me.
      The harassers are neuro rapers, psycho sadists,mental chokers and kidnappers; at night they can even comment 'on a wet dream' than double-talk on what might have happened to people you love. These are burnmarks of trauma by fear and humiliation. Typically MK perpetuation. On anything good : study, happy plans, going out; I hear, also at my new address, again contra and heavily undermining bullshit through the walls > why is there no action..??
      It's just totally discusting and unbelievable what sees the day. Organized 'sectarian' bastards from groups, 'hotel neighbours', false flags close and remote ,lice day after day with noise and 'signal' upsetting and disturbing peace of mind. Mentally crippling. It's far beyond a Zersetzung open or discrete. And how many games have been played inbetween by elitarian powers? It's a totaly criminal mental (and fysical) assault on life and way of mind with its (suggestive) monitoring: "because he doesn't do any writing yet" Jebus Christ that's something you would hear in a stasi prison cell! ..and how far is the top of my country aware and involved in all this and looking away? For over a century now! 'Cause already they tried to hide my grandfather away from life literally. My country 's got to answer too! She leaves people (us, my fam) , inside their own homes still exposed to deliberate frustration and disruption from the (covert, conditioning) influence of stalking and surrounding terror. And there is the fargoing monitoring (my involuntary muscle tractions and reflexes are repeatedly spoken of in their in commentary, severe -inserted- thought disturbance, schooling and the ravages of the idea of our security and privacy (shelter). The surrounding presence of these terrorists mean to people with social-fobia being afraid to start literally ánything, which, knowing the attention, is a premediation of absolute horrific low-heartedness and criminal intent. We are inside our home still continuesly within reach of all kinds of psychological and negative influence exerted on us ,my family, by surrounding manipulative forces.

      As I watched one of my family members(having an important meeting) get inside my brothers car I saw a 'school' example of coverted bullshit, a 'play' enroll, orchestrated dark and light lines no-doubt trying to subconscious influence a target(my fam member) and the whole darn psychological-neuro grid moving along! What has been going on all these years on the cold red square in the corner of our eyes?
      Impossible situation. Utter terror. And I wonder: also responsible for other victims? And also not unimportant: is there still a mature security service with a heart and a conscience that wants to explain more than a century of trouble? Where is the 'state' of The Netherlands? Why does this country hand out people to terrorists?
      There comes a moment I'll ask my government(people and/or archives must know) via a supreme court which main parties are guilty which may include themselves or at least being corrupt and culpably, punishable ignorant. It's simply impossible not knowing a thing.

      ..it's not even 06:00 hrs and just awake that I get/hear comments that: 'totaly crushes the idea of a normal, safe and reliable situation (at home) in which I can confidently rely on my privacy and that of others with me.'
      "poluted your life", "next spring will be your end too"(the constant talk, voicing and emotional hijack is an ordeal. An almost unimaginable hell. Have we been able to be alone and think free for óne moment? Is this overwhelming, mind-absorbing and destructing accompaniment, upto our very death?!),
      "gets a ring to reality more and more often" (you stiffen and become dizzy. when you think of how -in a controlled way- your natural protected and uninterfered life has been and is made impossible. A victim simply cannot believe, cannot accept what is going on. For my fam and me, these shattering and mind-boggling practices are not just going on day in and day out but have been going on since childhood. This also applies to my parents and grandparents. The rest of my page is a bit about the ingredients of 'destructive psychology') ,
      "Your (a family member) is under our control." (it's mental rape. It's repeating insultment, frustratement, involuntary learning and perpetuate conditioning, 're'-trauma and it still continues. I can trickle and cry for two years thinkin about the misery, the impact it all might 've had on our lives, the fearmongers, sickmakers, the organized betrayal, to purposefully and intentionally limit and hurt our lives and future, faith and destiny. Meanwhile, all day long, stalking Mengeles amuse themselves with their victims 'beaten up' to miniatures mentally and seeking to survive in the puppet playhouse. I often asked myself how can it be? Looking at the world around us. It felt not right, wrong, fake. Unnatural! A mismatch between who you are basicly and your life, the situation.
      Now I know.. How indeed they faked it. Filled our surroundings with emptyness, delay, disinterest, surly bias, false response for our daily emotions; nothing, nobody 'seemed at home'. They've tried to smother the glow of ánything positive around us and inside us. An official ban from the divine comedia that high end corruption is),


      [..There is excitement and commentary around me about what I want to do..  It's pressing and retarded. Do big brodder cops miss out on a reward if I feel happy or something? You can almost feel the sting of how for decades it has been their excessive intent trying to let my family and me be unhappy, kept under, bereft of love, happiness, 'to build' and that it has to remain that way; at any cost. It's unbelievable, a living prison camp. Nothing is really normal. For só long there has been manipulation and damage outside and inside our heads. Heartless and with no regard for feelings whatsoever. It's a GDR zersetzug, a private MK and the authorities have done nothing against the generations of offensive terror. Kidnapping. All this was and is is menticide. I recognized it with my grandparents: life, story and position harnessed or made impossible. You can't live until you're old and weak. These are the hot coals of the story from an old, dark and messy coal scuttle that raises a lot of questions. ] ]

      "that's why they're always trying to clear his mind", "because this goes beyond Nazi. All 'resources' should have been deployed long ago." May I ask: what is the opposite of altijd nervous, restriction and hostility..?
      "it'll soon be over in a bigbang ignition, charges have already been applied", or take real threats like "your kid is coming to it's end." Perversions by the perverted. Live terror and frust stowing goats. Cowardly mess. The bit-a-dirt of impelled (covert) organised bullshit that tries to take over your fore-ground and get to the nerves. How big how long for these leeches? Update 2023" - "when your last child is to pieces", "It's family murder indeed." (My stomach turns. it's over. A point has been reached. Bastard practices may continue apparently.. while I must deal -on people I love- with control and conditioning around here. Chique gloves their doggies and governmental duty drop, cover-up, rumour stop, holding us down, bad cops, ear pops, shock, scare, chop and break jobs. I'm looking for a constitution.. and some real people..)
      What I did find nice though was crooked spaghetti from a new pack right from the store! But that ain't half as weird as being surprised and over-confronted with car accidents upto the art-installations in exhibitions.
        That people -in my country- can be played like this, as taken prisoners, up to their minds and inside their own homes! Where is conscious mind, justice and SWAT to be found around here?  International 'Groups' and their inner-connections already should have been traced and examined long ago. Concerning my fam and me one can safely assume I only paint personal circumstances in: underestemation. Some bad ass state assigners must since way-back have always addressed all 'official' and organizational means to suppression and how seriously should I be concerned about others? Ultra rough and worrying. People kept under. Substitute the naive blind, the superficial fact swindlers with their intuitive 'grandiosity' and all those being responsible since a lóóng time..
      Why not be a little fair and honoust? Time is too valuable to be immortal. Maybe I must see GSG9 or GIGN for an understanding ear. It would be the first in a lifetime!
      Something else, got to add it.. name three random countries and you're easily talking 100 secret- intelligence- and information services, yet nothing has changed for my family..
      'The system' kept and keeps us under fire. An organized kaltstellung in the coldest conceivable 'cold' war full of intense deceit for which I suspect, among others, my state to be partly accountable. Ain't there something like right potential energy? Has not been tried to have ours stolen, destroyed and frozen like a silent and cold little rock..?
      more shoutlist here..


      Just had a bad flu, I felt tired and because of my serious overweight I feel I look silly like \"a duckie\" but I started jogging. The night after that I heared \"it took him 20 mins for about 1.6 mile(1 km)..\" I felt sad but I realised I was hearing this, that it wasn't the product of my own thinking but this is how they change thoughts, break you and stop good initiatives that's why I tell this. -
      \"the first day they arrived they heard reggae from the window\" (I was talking to myself about an old neighbour who looks suprisingly the same as the former director of a known dutch nature conservation organization but under a different last name. But, indeed I played reggea the first time he and company entered as new residents the studenthouse! (?!) Who did I hear recall 'private' things..?),

      As I said: I was thinking about an old relationship. When I talked to myself about this, I got 'negative pulse' in every form.
      ..I have my ideas about this former relationship and a high lady( possibly an understatement). Did her delegated grouped 'front & side circles', within the much older and larger kaltstellung of my family, extra curtail my life for twenty years? Unmistakably, in my youth, the above has already been spoken of in specific terms that cannot be confused. This means that thén things were already planned while the 'subjects' were still children. With what I heard then, I could have drawn a line to moments in time.   (Remarkable: under severe stress one encounters signs associated with vitamin B-12 deficiency. In lingo: btw (eng : tax) AA lf. CryptoNazi. methods. That's how mind-entanglers work. We told ya..! See also next complaint and comment)
      \"problem is bigger because his stomach can no longer tolerate food\" - this scared the hell out of me (my stomach is tense and swollen, apart from this and my family how many other lives have the touched, how many other people did those manipulating frustrating criminal browshirt vazals attempted to drive, choke and or ruin on orders?)
      All this is going to be talked about. Things are serious. Big questions sprung around my family; the great misery ánd mistery must and will stop. The seriousness, the dirty will and wrong considerations why all this happens still, makes honest, safe and good work and life impossible. I'll have to leave because every 'line' - to my great regret and despair - remains dead and with that I do not help my family or others. Does my government understand the seriousness?

      Recently at night on the couch with all doors closed I silently but deliberately (hoping for reaction) asked myself in my own language a question: \"what's the opposite of always lain.\" To my surprise after a couple of minutes I heard saying \"never stood.\" I was astonished. That wasn't what I was thinking.. The logic sucked! I couldnt help smiling in the dark of my room in my pillow. Look to what I said before here.. what for God's sakes are the (local) authorities doing? It's not a joke! It's.. Urgent! What are they doing? I'm very dissapointed and kinda worried with the disconcern and level of general information between authorities and if so the content.
      I'd simply wished there were no souls with life phobia or trauma. Unfortunately ofcourse that's not the case. On a new website about (mental) suppression a 'map of consciousness', and I hope to be aible to share some bits of information about these subjects that are so important and can put so heavy burden on someones life with joined questions. Insecurity (fear of) intimidation and getting hurt may have started young and have a very big and sad effect on ones social life.

      ..End of pop up shoutlist ");




      "made holes in your back", "carved in your face", "working for the devil pays off"(until loyalty and word of honor prove to be the carnassial of the devil's maw), "it's always nice to see people get pittyful and pathetic", "your (a family member) is also under control" (buzzing satellite scumbags who : humiliate, frustrate, manipulate, victims/targets, or worse, bring unwitting, unsuspecting people under influence and condition their behavior and day after day nibb away the doggie's self-esteem. As I speak people's lives and future are deliberately destroyed and made impossible in a reality that might be shocking unclear and fearful to them. All these machinations, people and groups is bad BB christmastree, the illegal & extrajudicial circuits the elites and coverup governments use to play own judge, where the groups' lie is more important than an individuals truth; spineless 'nature filmers' parroting each other and no way my country (NL) chases those terrorists. My fam suffered very much from the surrounding false heartbeat and mirrors).
      I lay in bed tired in the morning. I was thinking about an old relationship. When I talked to myself about this, I got 'negative pulse' in every form: "Shut up, you'll get another 'military' warning"
      Infantilization is part of the nasty tone of the sham and blame rhetoric flood exercised on a vicim that shifts mood, motivation and self-esteem to 0. The flood of degrading accusatory remarks victims get to hear I dubbed WISE cuz they are bout you being: wrong, infantile, stupid and evil in every way.
      At 5-6 AM when I'm awake on a summer morning, serious sickening remarks about me and other people pass by : relations, accusations and insinuations about other people, suicide and passings, incest, deadly diseases, threats, intimate details!, failures, accidents you name it; language that is confronting, stalling, dirty, harassing, hurting, discrediting, swearing, untrue or bullshit information, filthy, shocking, infantilizing, dumbifying, denigrating and so forth. On a simple day I might have had had more to endure before 8 O'clock than somebody else in 10 years.

      ..I have my ideas about things, people, a former relationship and delegated circles'. Unmistakably, in my youth has already been spoken of things in specific terms that cannot be confused. This means that back thén things were already seriously planned, arranged and organised while 'subjects' were still children, within the much older and larger kaltstellung of my family. Does my government understand the seriousness?

      Mind-control, brainwash and Zersetzung practices are all forms of psychological warfare. A) The silent (c)overt changing, hindering and stopping of the ease of Being(mind, health), (operational)functioning and availability. Ambivalence & Uncertainty (attention, dilemma ao), Tension and Frustration(disturbance, undermining, counter-act) are important values. It creates paralyzing tiredness, stress and distrust. Shaky examples spread, radiate feelings of anxiety, doubts, fear and will have a negative effect onto their surroundings and (subversive) milieu. Anonymous stalking asholes and indoctrinators, puppets on orders, behind the walls of where you live who seem to know you, address you with sound and speech. Blow their unsuspecting victims immense fear and unclearity, actually immitate one's 'guilty' conscience which can provoke to: culpable behavior, private confessions, psychosis and tremendous feelings of guilt. Do not follow alien orders. Never follow anonymous orders or become blindly obediant.
      When harassment continues one can be indoctrinated on a deeper level with damaging doctrines to the extreme, things like feellessness is good, keep on waiting, self hurt and dirt, stop making sense, opposite truths, intuition rules, required invulnerability and invincibility, will on command, worthlessness of being and so forth.
      Check your memory with school books, photo albums, stamp collection and sane friends.
      It will take much strength to withstand mental attacks. Stay cool. With this I mean: prevent people from labeling you as aggressive or crazy because it won't do you or your cause any good. That doesnt mean that you cannot swear or get frustrated but be careful. Mind your privacy and dont panic, keep doing what you were doing and hang on!

      -I used a few 'keywords' frequented in public discourse about complot and gladly abused in 'theories of' mental disorder and as its proof. The mimiced psy-complaints explain themselves because the goal of the mental harrasment is functionally equal(see A).
      (State) complots ofcourse are as true as the official flag of Mozambique (with an AK-47 in its symbol)
      Zersetzung could mean as much as 're-setting of 'tongue'(Zunge), a proverbial 'smack' on the head for dissidents behaving out of norm and saying wrong things about the system. But on what criteria? And what is true..?
      Bigbrother, who owns goverment, has many ways and people in collections to help bother his 'targets' and maybe these people belong to groups where they are told how smart they are.. and not to ask reasonable questions to 'superiors' nor themselves. Of course you understand this bullshit means lies and corrupt situations in which instead of criminals victims are punished. Not because they are state-enemy but for some other trivial or important covered-up reason.
      Life shocked, career blocked, relations destroyed, bans imposed, money spend, love gone, hopeless and scary perspectives and-not-knowing-what-for, often not even knowing it all together! And a lot of people, blindly or on hear-say helping 'Bigcriminal' to fu*cK over the wrong guy, young families; parents and kids.
      My family still defies and deals with all the 'behind the scenes' organised crap, because it's bin around for so long and I don't believe my grandma was subversive or me political active at ten years old..

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